So, the wrapping paper. This storage bag of paper made me so happy every year when I pulled it out from under my bed – all the familiar papers a part of so many Christmases for years and years. So what was I thinking so casually giving it away?! I remember clearly saying to myself, and perhaps to others, “I can buy wrapping paper in Spain!” but truly, that was the case of almost everything that wasn’t a personal photo, piece of art, or souvenir, so why was that where I drew the line? And why can’t I let it go? It is just wrapping paper after all!
I think that the wrapping paper has become a metaphor for all the stuff I was sad to leave behind – my family, friends, job, house, routine, familiar city – all of it! Maybe those are too big to dive into right now, so in some ways it’s easier to perseverate on the wrapping paper. Moving is hard. Moving to another country where you don’t speak the language and depend on others when you are so used to being the one depended on is harder. Exciting, challenging, sad, fun, interesting, difficult, all at the same time. Maybe I just needed a place to put all those big, complicated feelings, and a storage bag of Christmas wrapping paper fit the bill.
Recently, I completed the “Embracing Change” plan from the Balance app (an adaptable meditation app I highly recommend!), and one of the most impactful sessions was on having gratitude for the future. I was asked to think about an event in the coming weeks, months, or years that I was uncertain about (and I had a plethora to choose from, I’m telling you!). I was encouraged to acknowledge any uncomfortable feelings that arose from contemplating an unknown future. Then, I was instructed to consider the best case scenario for this unknown future and really lean in to the idea that whatever change I was thinking about would turn out exactly as I hoped, maybe even better. This intentional reframing helped me focus less on what was left behind and more on a future of good surprises and feeling thankful for what could happen.
Time to go get some new wrapping paper and plan for new memories!
